Waddin' preparations

Only a few months till the big waddin' of Prince Wullie and (millionaire) 'commoner' Kate.
In charge of the big day's proceedings is
Regimental Sergeant Major -Hume-Ferguson-Catastrophe f.a., t.o.l.,d.e.n., g.l.i.s., h.g.u.y.of the Queens own 3rd Battalion of the 14th Foot and Mouth (India), the 18th Sappers (North America)and the 12th infantry division of the Notty Ash Foot Irregulars ( South Africa)

In order to guarantee a successful parade the Grand Puba has come up with a do and don't list which includes
There will be NO shoes un shone..
Buttons WILL be polished.
Every horse will be followed by two wee men sporting large shovels.
All instruments, including (especially) bagpipes will be played in tune.
If Liz waves at you, wave back. Practice your wave.

God save the King; Larry King.